Holding Trans America Close

In this post: Acknowledging Trans Day of Remembrance • Trump’s agenda for trans Americans • Cultures that respect third gender/two spirit people • What I will do to support the trans community in the coming months and years • How you can support the trans people in your life

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Acknowledging trans day of remembrance

According to the Pew Research Center, 1.6% of Americans identify as transgender or non-binary, and about 5% of young adults in the U.S. say their gender is different from their sex assigned at birth. Personally, I have two transgender relatives and several transgender friends who I care about and support, and I have worked with a few transgender colleagues. I dated an intersex person. All of them are happy with who they are and are kind, generous, productive, positive people. They, like all of us, should feel, and be, safe and supported, but I fear that Trump's plans will only increase violent crimes against trans people by emboldening assumptions and actions based in fear and hatred.

My best friend from high school, Julie, is the mother of a trans daughter, and her partner is the father of a trans son; all four live together in a (thankfully) supportive community in Philadelphia. This week, their church, Trinity Memorial Episcopal, held a Trans Day of Remembrance to honor those trans individuals who have been lost to violence and suicide in the last year. Held every November 20, Trans Day of Remembrance began in 1999 to honor Rita Hester, a trans woman who was killed in Massachusetts.

Below, Julie shares what she experienced at the service, and what is in her heart right now as the mother of a trans child:

“I’m so tired.”

Those were some of the first words spoken during the homily at the Trans Remembrance Day service at Trinity Memorial Episcopal Church in Philadelphia. They were spoken by one of the gender nonconforming clergy and lay leaders who prepared and guided the service. I’m feeling pretty tired, too, but can only imagine the exhaustion experienced by the entire queer community, which includes my daughter and my partner’s son, both of whom are trans.

I feel frightened, too.

The thought crosses my mind (not every day, not even every week, but always so unexpectedly that it takes my breath away for a second) that there could come a time when someone reads my daughter’s name at a Remembrance Day event. The current climate in this country makes that fear less of an outrageous worry by an overanxious mother and more of a reality.

So, tired and scared—but surprisingly grateful. We live in a neighborhood that I fondly refer to as Trans Central Station. We didn’t choose this part of the city because of its trans-friendliness, but it sure is an excellent benefit.

I’m also grateful for Trinity Memorial. Although I hear people in and out of power twisting Christianity into knots to justify cruelty, Trinity (and many other places of worship) acts according to the belief that God loves you. No exceptions.

Faith-based organizations will probably come under pressure from the federal government with regard to a lot of their advocacy and resistance work, including within the queer and trans community. An attendee at the Remembrance Day service shared their fear that the “greater church” will buckle (or at least bend) under that pressure. To ensure that doesn’t happen, communities need to support the work of individual churches, synagogues, and mosques. You don’t have to be religious to provide that support. My partner isn’t. He admitted discomfort at some of the rituals and prayers at the Trinity service, but he understands how vital the resistance work of religious organizations has been over the decades—from antiwar protests to the civil rights movement and beyond. And, believe it or not, almost every faith-based group offers resources to help embrace our LGBTQ+ siblings. Even Evangelical Christians! You can find a list of resources at Strong Family Alliance, whose mission is to “save lives and preserve families by helping children come out and parents become informed supporters and allies.”

We said a lot of prayers on Wednesday night. They all spoke to me on some level, but I’ll leave you with this one:

We pray for our wider communities and world, that they too may embrace the gifts of gender diversity. We ask for a true spirit of listening and commitment on the part of politicians, media, and other opinion formers. Strengthen those who bring light rather than heat and lift the clouds of ignorance, fear, and oppression. God of love, in your mercy, hear our prayer.

- Julie Cullen is a writer and editor in Philadelphia

Trump’s agenda for trans Americans

In the days after the results of the 2024 election, crisis calls and texts to The Trevor Project by LGBTQ+ youth increased by 700 percent. Based on what Trump declared during his campaign, they have every right to be concerned and scared. In this video, Trump outlines his plans clearly. I recommend that you take 4 minutes to listen to it. He promises, on day one, to revoke current policies on gender-affirming care, to quickly prohibit trans women from participating in women’s sports, to curtail educators and parents in supporting transgender children, and asking Congress to “establish that the only genders recognized by the United States government are male and female.”

Since 2021, anti-trans legislation has dramatically increased, and Trump’s agenda promises to press the accelerator pedal on passing more. Our trans community needs our voices to be loud and strong against this legislation. Trans legislation tracker is an excellent resource for staying up-to-date with current bills, nationally and by state.

Cultures that respect third gender/two spirit people

Trump claims that being “born with the wrong gender [is] a concept that was never heard of in all of human history”, and that “the radical left invented [this] a few years ago”, despite the fact that over 150 different pre-colonial Native American tribes acknowledged third genders in their communities. Westernized ideologies forced upon Indigenous societies included the notion that anything other than a binary gender system was “sinful.” Nevertheless, the acceptance of genders beyond a binary system still exists in many traditional societies. In fact, here is a map of two spirit communities around the world. These include “the Muxes (pronounced mu-shay), a recognized third gender among the Zapotec people in Oaxaca [Mexico.]” In December 2019, Vogue México & Latinoamérica made history by featuring Muxe Estrella Vazqueza on the cover of the magazine for the first time. Perhaps Trump doesn’t study cultural history or look at Vogue…

What will I do to support the trans community in the coming months and years?

• Check in with my trans friends and family. Ask how they are doing. Let them know I am here for them.

• Speak up when in the company of people who are disrespecting or harming trans people.

• Stay aware of upcoming legislation and let my state representatives and senators know what I think.

• Donate to the organizations that will be fighting for trans rights. I will be supporting a national organization, the ACLU, which is already preparing to fight discrimination against trans people in the courts.

• And I am researching local grassroots organizations that could use my time and energy; I’ll make myself available when they need me.

Where can you donate your money or time

Here’s one list of excellent national organizations that support trans people - and here’s another.

and another list of grass roots organizations by state.

How to support your trans family members, friends and colleagues

Check in with the trans people you know and love. Let them know you support them. Speak up when anyone speaks or acts with disrespect toward them.

Families can find resources at Strong Family Alliance.

Let your state legislators and senators know what you think about upcoming legislation. You can find your legislators here.

I am posting three videos below that I think are worth your time, especially if you have a lot of questions about transgenderism, the terms “sex”, “gender”, or “cis”, or how to be a positive supporter. They were created by YGender, an Austrailian trans organization that closed its doors in 2022 because the pandemic created too many barriers for its volunteers. YGender provided support to the trans community for over a decade, including the production of many excellent videos about how friends, families and allies can support them. And by the way - just as a point of comparison…

• “the Australian Government Guidelines on the Recognition of Sex and Gender, which took effect in 2013 (11 years ago), enable any adult to choose to identify as male, female or X. Documentary evidence must be provided from a doctor or psychologist, but no medical intervention is required. The Australian Capital Territory, since 2020, has also allowed youths to change their given names and sex to better reflect their gender identity. This can be done without parental permission if they are 16 or 17, or if they are given permission by ACT Civil & Administrative Tribunal.” (wikipedia)